All Things Gwen

So people are freaking out about MTV’s Jersey Shore. Some people hate it, some people love it. GUESS WHAT? I’m feelin’ it. I don’t go to those “North Jersey” shores though — FYI, the show takes place in Seaside Heights, NJ. (And seriously, that’s how it is up there — “guidos” and “guidettes,” tats and big hair.) It’s just funny. We were ALL young and what-not at some point.

I’m a SOUTH Jersey girl, and I go down to South Jersey shores. You know — Sea Isle, Cape May, Ocean City, Wildwood, Avalon. Rumor has it that the next season of Jersey Shore is going to be in Sea Isle, NJ. I like that! It will be funny to watch the show and see places that I used to hang out at — when I was young and awesome!

Oh the summer of 2004. We had a house in Sea Isle and shenanigans (pun intended) ensued. Yeah, I was dating
a guy and he left me at the bar (went to the “bathroom” and never came back!) … no, I didn’t have a key to the house … yes, my roommates found me “sleeping” on the porch. (Mom and Dad, aunts and uncles, my employer or any future potential employers or persons of influence, etc. I really hope you’re not reading this!)

What else? There was Joe — my BFF Danielle’s college friend — that had a blow-up doll at the bar. His arm was IN A SLING TOO. I don’t know if he really need that sling or not. Oh man, one time, there was a guy at the bar with a NECK BRACE. He definitely didn’t need it and was trying to pick up girls.

One time, my friend, Brendan, came to stay over. So nice of him to bring a keg of root beer, package of hot dogs and a BLACK melon. I locked him out that night cuz he just never came back to the house. Well, he did, but I locked him out.

Oh, and I left Danielle in Wildwood once. I left her with college friends and drove her car home. Then, when I picked her up the next day, I hit her in the head with a stiletto. (I have really good aim!) It was ok though because she puked on the beach that same day, so I don’t think the (what we call) “stiletto to the head” really hurt. After a trip to McDonald’s — we were cool again! BFFs! Speaking of Wildwood and shoes, one time we stayed at our high school friend’s house. Danielle and I slept on this leather couch, no blanket, and stuck to it like glue. RIIIIP, RIIIPPP any time we moved. It wan’t really that funny that CRAIG hid one of my shoes and I went home with just one.

I could seriously go on and on. I haven’t even touched on me and Melly Mel at the shore! GOOD TIMES. I’ll have to save that for another blog post.